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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Things You Might Not Know

I don't know that there is such a place where it's not easier to blend in, to fall into line, to not make waves.  It will always be easier to lay low than to deal with the possibility of people not liking you.
But it can also mean you don't want to write blogs or start conversations or come out of your office at work. And all of those things are dumb.

So here are some things you might not know:

  • I practice my British accent in my car.
  • Meth is my go-to drug for all jokes. I don't do meth. I just like to talk about it a lot.
  • Waking up early isn't in my DNA. Going to sleep early isn't either.
  • Don't feel like we have to small-talk. We can be silent together and I'll probably like you more for it.
  • I'm really bad at having text message conversations. If you've gotten me to reply a half dozen times in one conversation, know I'm trying really hard. If you haven't, it's no reflection of you. It's totally a reflection of my limited text capacity.
  • If we get in an argument, consider us on pause until you're ready to talk about it. And know that my ability to stay on pause has extended into weeks. No rush, it's just time we're wasting.
  • When I was in the 4th grade, my teacher Mrs. Bonilla had a do an assignment where we wrote about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I wanted to be a singer, but she said, because I was a girl, I had to write that I wanted to be a "songstress". Does that even make sense? Maybe in a world classier than this one. I still think about being a songstress and how much nicer it is for boys to just get to be singers.
  • With unlimited resources, I would probably build a wardrobe that belonged in 1986. For a kid on the set of a John Williams film in 1986.
  • I know a little about a lot. I know a lot about Hanson.
  • If you leave me a voicemail and then I call you and you ask "did you get my message?" I may say yes, but the answer is really no. I didn't listen to your voicemail. Even if it was funny. I'll tell you I'll go back and listen to it, but I'll just save it (with good intentions of listening to it eventually) and then give up and delete it after two weeks.
  • I have "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" saved on my DVR. I watch it a lot because I love this scene where OneRepublic's "Secrets" plays underneath it. I realize I could just listen to OneRepublic's "Secrets" on repeat, but I don't know if it would be nearly as gratifying.
  • I can find a way to reference Harry Potter in every conversation I have. If I don't, it's because I was using self control.
  • I think I'm a ginger magnet. I don't know anyone besides Hermione Granger who knows more gingers. (See what I did there? Harry Potter reference in your face.)
  • Khloe is my favorite Kardashians. There are no other Kardashians on my list of favorite Kardashians.

So there it is. Right now, as you're reading this, I'm either at work speaking to myself in a British accent and catching up on Snooki tweets, or I'm at my house watching "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" and looking up lyrics to Jay-Z songs. Because that's what I do. It doesn't get any classier, folks.

1 comment:

Karla said...

Yes! I talk to myself in a British accent all the time. And I never check voice mail.

But you're not surprised by that.