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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Covert Operations

I just finished writing some scripts about a secret agent and now I'm pretty convinced I would be a killer secret agent. Here's all I need:

1. A hollowed out book filled with passports and money from other countries.

2. A watch with a laser. I'm not sure if the laser kills people, yet. Maybe it'll just change channels in Best Buy or Circuit City (are there still Circuit Citys? RIP Circuit City.)

3. I have to convincingly speak a language no one else would ever need. And I have to pull it out of the hat when everyone else thinks my cover is blown. You don't believe that I'm the Nigerian prime minister? Well ku aro to you.

4. I need a car that comes and finds me when I click a button. If I'm running away from North Korean or the Penguin, I want to be able to push the red button on my keychain and have my Astin Martin show up right at the door of Chinese restaurant/back room gambling operation. I'm going to jump out the 2nd story window, hit the striped awning and land in the front seat through the sun roof.


If you need me, I'll be registering from the Champion School of Covert Operations. 
Doesn't exist? Boom.


If I am invisible, I am instantly the best spy.
I am a lady, but same principle.
I learned everything I know from Harriet.
I want to be a master spy.
This might be me.

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