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Saturday, January 29, 2011

If I Were Italian

source (because you're all interested)

I watch more Jersey Shore than you'd probably imagine.
I'm currently watching A Stand up Mom.
You wouldn't think Cake Boss is a comedy show, but I feel like it is.
That leads me to believe that being Italian is the key to being insta-funny.

NOTE:
I'm from the South, so maybe I'm misunderstanding.
The truth is it might actually be a fact of whether or not I'm from New Jersey.
I'm NOT moving to New Jersey.
It could also be anybody descending from the Mediterranean region.
I've seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and I feel like my gross overgeneralizations will apply here as well.


1. Italians are okay with yelling.
Southern families only yell on Super Bowl Sunday.
Italians yell if they run out of Ziploc bags.
Italians yell if the food is excellent.
Italians yell if they're in a good mood, bad mood, sick and dying.
That's something I can get behind because yelling is funny.

Try this:
Say "what were you thinking?" It kind of feel likes we're watching a crime drama.
Now say it again. Yell it. Emphasize "THINK". Things are going to start happening now.
Guns. Spaghetti. Who knows. It's going to be good.



2. Italians can say ridiculous things with full confidence.
Have you watched the Jersey Shore? They can talk about going on a bar crawl at 10 in the morning. They can talk about "smooshing"after they get back from tanning. If I said that to my friends, they'd start hiding the cold medicine. You know why no one has laughed Snooki out of town? Because she 100% intending on and okay with smooshing when she gets back from tanning. You actually feel like the dumb one because you're not entirely sure what is going to be happening when she's smooshing.
She wants a gorilla juicehead?
Maybe I want a gorilla juicehead! I don't know! Who knew it was an option?! I don't know what all's involved with a juicehead!
It didn't sounds as ridiculous when Snooki said it.
Ridiculous is money.



3. Italians have lots of relatives.
Families translate into comedy gold. Why? People love hearing stories of your dad putting his car keys in his ears during public conversations. Or, how your aunt's eyebrow is finally starting to grow into her beard. Now imagine what you could do if you had double the amount of relatives. Just imagine the hijinks! And the hit television series!



Just don't be surprised when I'm rocking the hair poof and leaving rants about your cheating uncle Tino on your voicemail.

1 comment:

Katie DeCillo said...

I, as an Italian, am a fan of this :)