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Thursday, December 2, 2010

Minesweep, Gollum & hot buttons

Do you remember that game Minesweep? The whole point was to figure out where all the mines were without setting any of them off. You could click on a square and it would tell you how far you were from a mine but it wouldn't tell you where it was. How much ruder can you get? And with one wrong -CLICK- red square. You're dead. (Don't worry, you're only dead in Windows PC world. Which isn't saying much.)

Fast forward to real life application:
Sometimes your mine is a fear of rejection.
Sometimes it's your manic need to control everything.
Sometimes it's your fear of risk.
Sometimes it's an inability to accept yourself.
Sometimes your mine is a bad relationship with your dad.
And I've come to discover that, without even realizing it, you can end up dancing around that mine, hoping you don't set it off.

Some people can live their whole lives that way. What's the big deal?

Well, the big deal is to protect the mine, you gotta build big, thick walls.
Booby traps.
Moats.
Sharks with lasers.
That's good for no one.
(Well, sharks with lasers would be cool except they seem pretty non-discriminant and could just as easily kill you with your own laser. Sad day.)

But maybe you don't know where the mines are, honestly.
Let me show you how I find mine.

source
The other day I was driving down the road thinking about some of the stuff I wrote in my Unlimited blog.  I thought "I should call so-and-so and see if they want to get coffee today." So-and-so could reasonably be called a friend. This shouldn't be too terribly hard. Immediately, from out of the pits of Mordor itself, Gollum came screaming out of me.

NOOOOOO!

And we've got contact, folks.
I literally had to laugh out loud in my car.

Gollum is this tragically divided character found in the Lord of the Rings who's innocent side constantly battles with the side that will do anything to acquire the thing it loves more than anything else- the ring. It is the side that ensures self-preservation and survival. And come to find out, Gollum is the gatekeeper to the areas of my life that I feel like I have to protect in order to keep living. Along the lines of what Eugene Peterson said in "A Long Obedience In The Same Direction", it's much easier for me do what it takes to win than to open myself up to the potential failure that comes with faith and trust and hope. When I can feel that creature fighting to get out, I know I've hit pay dirt.

So maybe Gollum lives in you too. It would explain your keen night vision at least.
Or maybe, when you're challenged, you shut down.
Maybe you retreat.
Maybe you deflect any good words about yourself.
Maybe you eat as many Peppermint Hershey kisses in one sitting as you can (alright...maybe this isn't a warning sign for all of us...)


My challenge to you:
-What are you safeguarding?
-How are you safeguarding it?
The answers could be more comical than you think.

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