Pages

Monday, November 1, 2010

Enough



But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again.

"The Cave" - Mumford & Sons


For two years I prayed for a hard heart. 
I know that sounds ridiculous but let me paint the picture for you.
I was ending/just ended a two-ish year long relationship.
I was very mad. I was by myself.
I was just tired of being sad. 
So I prayed that God would let me forget and that He would harden my heart so I wouldn't have to feel the barrage of emotions day in and day out. 
He answered that prayer.


What a terrible thing to pray, let me tell you. It would be 2 years before God pulled the plug on my life in a bubble. The person I was before those prayers began was a very different person from the one who exists today and while the Lord has restored a lot of things to me, I'm still working on basic things like gentleness and kindness. Those are some of the first things to go when you are building a life where you're completely insulated from happiness or sadness. Those are also essential to connecting with those around you.


But I'm writing tonight to encourage you.
God's promise wasn't to make things safe or easy or pretty or painless.
He didn't promise you a fulfilling career or a big house or a husband.
He promised to be with you. And that has to be enough because there isn't anything beyond that that matters or can make any sort of difference.



So make your siren’s call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it’s meant to be
"The Cave" - Mumford & Sons

6 comments:

Allison Drew said...

Like.

gschof said...

so beautiful. so true. and again mumford and all his sons say it the way our hearts feel it.

your life matters. and He is enough.

i'm proud of you.

and i love, love the mess outta you. :o)

also, i'm buying my first octopus tomorrow.

Molly said...

Love you, MeLissa... lets talk again this week. I like being distracted at work. You're my hero.

Cp said...

Meem, I do think things happen for a reason. Sometimes we have to make mistakes and if that means being with the wrong person or praying for the wrong things to eventually realize what we really need then so be it. No one is perfect but I do think that you are gentle and kind. Great things are going to happen for you! Love ya.

leslie said...

You're my favorite to talk to. Such a large amount of wisdom and life in the tiniest of people. More often, please.

MeLissa said...

You girls keep me living sanely...