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Sunday, June 6, 2010

Write My Biography


First off, let me tell you guys that I am SO excited about the launch of Jumppunched.com!
Make sure to go check it out and come back regularly because you know that it will definitely be a hot mess of movies, television and general practice time travel.


CHALLENGE TIME
I have to include my biography.
While I always have something to say about most topics, my own biography is blowing my mind pastries. So I'd like you to give it a shot.
Somone's submission is going to be my bio, or pieces of several submissions.
It can be fanciful, it can be written as a poem, it can be in Spanish.
It can also include any or none of these facts:
  • I was born October 18, 1985
  • I grew up in Florida
  • Growing up, I told my brother that our parents were aliens.
  • I started The Erin & MeLissa Show, along with my best friend Erin McGown
  • I have two dogs: Roman & Ripley
  • I live in Nashville, TN
  • I am the Director of Events at Reach Your City, an awesome job that allows me to hang out with BMX riders and jumpropers.
  • I love movies most people wouldn't: The 13th Warrior, 50 First Dates, The Fall
  • I've just launched The Clementine Society, a craft community, with three of my favorite gals
  • I value a sense of humor above most things
  • My first foray into film was largely unintentional, making videos of my brother's wrestling tournaments because my dad annoyed me untili I did it. That was all it took to become a videographer for Fuge camps for two years
  • My grandfather is a Civil War reenactor. I've spent many an afternoon wearing a hoop skirt and sleeping on a battlefield.

I would love for you to give it a go. I don't care if it's actually an excerpt from Back to the Future II.
Much appreciated.

4 comments:

Brandon Gilbert said...

Born in Florida in 1985, MeLissa Gavarrette is a writer/director/producer/editor/co-star/key-grip/caterer of the internet sensation, The Erin and MeLissa Show.She currently lives in Nashville, TN with her two dogs, Roman and Ripley (Believe it or Not). She is a co-founder of the Clementine Society, a community dedicated to many types of crafts, not including witchcraft as was earlier assumed. She has been known to associate with Illusionists, Skateboarders, BMX Riders, Rock Stars, Jumpers of Rope and other assorted gypsy-types.

Little is known about her personal life, but there are some rumors that continue to swirl around her, unabated:
-Her brother will neither confirm nor deny that their parents are, in fact, aliens.
-Through early time travel methods, Francis Scott Key traveled to the future and decided to write the Star-Spangled Banner about her father, Jose.
-In high school, she was voted "most likely to get deported," though she was born in the U.S.
-She played the title character in the ABC sit-com, "Ugly Betty," though she was prohibited from taking credit through previous contractual obligations. The credit was instead given to America Ferrera.
-The Civil War re-enactment scene in the Reese Witherspoon movie, "Sweet Home Alabama," was inspired by her own real-life relationship with her grandfather, a Civil War re-enactor.

lydia. said...

Nintendo rolled out its first systems to limited American markets starting in New York City on October 18, 1985. Coincidentally it is also the birthday of MeLissa Gavarrette.
Florida is nicknamed the "Sunshine State" because of its generally warm climate—subtropical in the northern and central regions of the state, with a true tropical climate in the southern portion. Coincidentally it is the birthplace of MeLissa Gavarrette.
Have you seen http://www.erinandmelissa.com/ ? Coincidentally, MeLissa looks a lot like MeLissa Gavarrette.
Hillary Duff has two dogs. Coincidentally so does MeLissa Gavarrette.
Alan Jackson, Dolly Parton, Wynonna Judd, Billy Ray Cyrus (Cyrus Clan), Jessica Simpson, Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman, Al Gore, Brad Paisley, Garth Brooks, Kenny Chesney and MeLissa all live in Nashville.
Do you know Brock Gill? MeLissa does... she is Director of Events at Reach Your City.
A clementine is the hesperidium of a variety of mandarin orange (Citrus reticulata), named in 1902.[citation needed] The exterior is a deep orange colour with a smooth, glossy appearance. Clementines separate easily into seven to fourteen moderately-juicy segments. They are very easy to peel, like a tangerine, but are almost always seedless. Clementines are, thus, also known as seedless tangerines. The Clementine Society is a craft society MeLissa has with some of her favorite gals.
If you know anything about The American Civil War (1861–1865), also known as the War Between the States as well as several other names, was a civil war in the United States of America or making videos, you could be friends with MeLissa.
If MeLissa has ever told you, you are an alien, you are probably MeLissa's brother.

In short, MeLissa is an all American girl who loves jokes and Jesus.

pemmyk said...

I don’t know MeLissa Gavarrette.

Online resources state the surname “Gavarrette” is Honduran, but further research suggests it may actually be an ancient alien race from the recently-rejected-as-a planet, Pluto. There is substantial evidence of a UFO crash in Miami in October 1985, in which the last remaining survivors of the Gavarrette aliens were rumored to have began a civilized life on Earth. This comes as a surprise to alien experts for a couple reasons. One being the dramatic climate difference between Pluto & Miami, and also the ease at which they acclimated themselves with society. Because MeLissa was just a baby when her “spaceship” was rumored to have landed here, the family instantly educated themselves on American History, as to give MeLissa & her unborn brothers a “normal” life on this planet. MeLissa’s “tutunana” (which supposedly translates to grandfather) became a Civil War re-enactor, and brought MeLissa along with him. Whether this was done for education or embarrassment is not really known- but sources say she actually enjoyed it.

The Gavarrette’s are stunningly beautiful, yet slightly rough around the edges. This careful balance between quirk & beauty is what makes a Gavarrette so perfect for our culture’s entertainment industry. MeLissa has been seen on computer screens all across the world on the internet phenomenon “Erin & MeLissa Show”, with co-star Erin McGown. Sources are still out on what alien race Erin is decedent of, for the name McGown(Gaelic for “son of the smith”) is clearly a cover-up for what could potentially be a pretty sordid history. The show is based out of a Nashville home, where Erin & MeLissa reside together, along with 2 dogs, Roman & Ripley. It is clear who these dogs are named after: Roman Coppola, the second unit director of the Wes Anderson classic The Darjeeling Limited(amongst other things, but none so important), & Ellen Ripley, the character played by Sigourney Weaver in the movie “Alien” (this could’t be more obvious, really). Along with her incursion into the entertainment industry through video (both in front of and behind the camera), an online craft community has made a blip on our radar. “The Clementine Society” will undoubtedly become a creatively sensational crafting jubilee.

Just from the information we have at our fingertips about MeLissa Gavarrette, we can tell that she has certainly made a name for herself since her entrance into this world (and this planet), and we can only imagine she will continue to do so in her long life. (we hear the life span of the average Gavarrette is 108 years & 23 days)

I don’t know MeLissa Gavarrette. But I should. And so should you.

MeLissa said...

These are beyond phenomenal.
I love, Love, LOVE these so much!