Thursday, May 28, 2009

Things I Do Not Care About

1. St. Louis
Do you hear me St. Louis? I don't care about you! And your poor road directions.
And your poor parking. And your lame hotels. I like your arch and your awesome houses (that also happen to be in the ghetto- not the arch, just the houses). Other than that, I won't be back unless you've cleaned up your act.

2. Getting my nails did.
Some people can't go more than a week. I just can't rationalize paying that much money for something that will last a hot second. That's too much business for me. I'm thinking I'd prefer food or electricity, classy things like that.

3. Baseball
Baseball, I don't care about you.
And I don't know any baseball players, so obviously I can make no exceptions for anyone playing the sport either. Sorry.

4. Basketball
Basketball, I care even less about you. Now, I am familiar with the training facilities for the Orlando Magic. I've been to their corporate office a time or two and I know they mean business when it comes to Mexican. Other than that... I know who Michael Jordan is. Sorry, that's about as crazy as I get.

5. Writing Wikipedia Articles
Have you ever tried to write a Wikipedia article? You need a Masters Degree and a manual because it's ridiculous. I don't know how there are so many articles already and I don't know how crazy people have a Wiki page. Like, someone had to WRITE a Wikipedia page about Flavor Flav. Really? Someone took all that time for Flavor Flav? I mean, I can think of some communities in Africa that need wells dug... if you just have so much free time on your hands...

6. Lady Gaga
She is crazy. And people keep letting her show up to awards shows and places where other people can see her, and she's only wearing a leotard. I don't care if the leotard cost her $1,000. If she starts wearing leotards around town, then everyone thinks they can wear leotards around town. And let me tell you, Connie from Accounting can NOT wear a leotard around town. I can tell you that much.

7. Being Trendy
I have come to grips with the fact that I simply will not be a trend setter. I will not have the most blog followers. I will not have a millions friends on facebook or tons of followers on Twitter. People will most likely NEVER put my picture of the "Who Wore It Better" section of a magazine. If anything, I'll end up in that section in the back with pictures of Star Jones in a bedazzled running suit. I will not have awesome photos or amazing arts & crafts that I sell on etsy. I will not be a graphic designer or paint excellent pictures. I will not come up with new ways to wear a scarf.

But I'm just letting you know that I know that. I'm officially taking myself out of the competition, if there is one. I simply can not keep up and thus bow out gracefully (even though I don't know that I ever bowed in?) I live in the Haven of the Trendster and you will know you've found me when you find the only girl who still needs a haircut (not in a good way) and doesn't know how to put makeup on herself. She will have a poorly maintained social networking system and a blog that has seen better days.

I used to think I should get on the ball with these things.
They are things people usually enjoy.
I do not.
I just can't get myself to care.
I thoroughly apologize Twitter Grader.

1 comment:

gschof said...

other things not to care about:

-celebrity hook-ups and break-ups. who has time to find out when sean penn and robin wright penn will break up and get back together?

-celebrities in general. waste of precious sleep time.

-dating through craigs list. it ends terribly.

-having 3,000 children and being on tv because of it.

there is a much longer list of things TO care about. but these other ones have just got to go. no time for that mess.