Monday, May 25, 2009

In Memory Of

This is a blog about where I've been the past while. It's a blog about remembering.
I've been horrible about posting, but don't think I don't think about it.
(Don't think I don't have regrets. Don't think it don't get to me. Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey.)


1. Erin & I filmed five episodes of the Erin and MeLissa Show for Centrifuge and M-Fuge camps. That was pretty awesome. It also made me want to give up and quit. I've gotten lazy here with this IMovie and this floor lamp. Then here comes Darrel Girardier with all the confidence in the world that I am not capable of screwing this up as badly as I am fully aware that I can. He sends me Seth Worley's crazy HD camera with lens attachments and shotgun mics and screens and lighting and a different Imac with an updated version of FinalCut Pro so I can export HD footage properly. I gave up on life for a while. I am in over my head.

2. I did my first big event. Freedom Experience in Texarkana, AR/TX was unbelievable. Somewhere around 8,700 people were there over the course of three nights. 675 people made decisions for Christ. That's ridiculous, in a good way. I fell in love with the volunteers who came out to help us. I fell in love with our crew who just worked so tirelessly. And these ministers- illusionists and bmx riders and motocross stunt guys, and rockstars... all my love. And bigger than all that, you realize that the true joy comes in knowing you just had to be faithful. All the real heaving lifting gets taken care of by the Lord and He gets to show off and you get to be a front-row guest at the show. Unbelievable.

3. So this is the first summer I haven't worked camp in four years. I thought I was going to be torn up about it. Turns out I'm not. Currently there are 732 photos of me on Facebook. A large number of those came from camp craziness. THAT will be something that is markedly different, but I'm excited to see what is in store for this summer. Lord knows I wouldn't have chosen to leave camp for any other reason that I couldn't turn down an amazing job. This should be interesting.

4. I just want to take a second and tell the world that it's a little crazy... the amount of things I know about BMX. I'm sure it's nothing compared to what Dave Mirra or Ryan Guettler know, but if you know me at all, this is a little laughable. Check my internet history. The amount of time I spend watching BMX videos or following up on bikes checks on Ride BMX is astounding considering I started out with NO interest or knowledge about bicycles in general. Where are the people handing out awards? I need one.

5. Today was a good day to be at Brentwood Baptist. Mike Glenn talked about Psalm 42 and it's a good thing St. Louis was such a let down because I needed this message. (ESV)

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?

There are just some days when you wake up and wish you hadn't. I've had a couple of Jacob-days here recently, days where I felt like it was me & Him on the wrestling mat and I'm still thinking I can win. There are quite a few things I'm counting on Him to come through with a miracle on. Some of these miracles, by anyone else's standards, might not be that miraculous, but lately I've realized that just getting someone to keep a promise or to show up somewhere can seem miraculous. We're a Twitter nation and we let you know what's going on in our lives, but there is no response and there is no interaction, and I am surely guilty as well.

When shall I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food day and night,
while they say to me all the day long,

"Where is your God?"

So, again, sometimes just coming and showing up is a miracle to me. I'm just hoping He'll show up for now because there are a lot of things I'm counting on Him for.

By day the LORD commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.

So I'll hang in there because sometimes it gets worse before it gets better, but it always gets better. Of that, I have no doubt. And He shows up on time, even if time is so different to me. And I can't say that I behave like I believe this with my whole heart every minute of the day, but I'd certainly like to try.

So, good night America. It's Memorial Day and it's time to remember.

1 comment:

gschof said...

true story. sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. but i have to believe in the better. it has to get there. we have to make it.

weathering the storm so we can enjoy the smooth sailing. it has to get here.