Saturday, December 20, 2008

Let the dead bury their dead.

I think sometimes the price of following what God has for you is not something you could've imagined.

You always consider costs like:
  • I'll have to give up drinking.
  • I probably can't have sex with so-and-so.
  • I got to stop with these gang fights.
You don't think about the things you'll have to painfully let go of if you're ever going to move forward. And it is painful.

You don't think of it as a cost, but it is. Because you can stay back and fight battles that will keep you busy for years, but is that what the Lord has for you? The God who didn't even hold back his Son from you desires for you to bog yourself down in battles? Or the continued suffering because of the decisions someone made? He wants you to continue suffering for the choices of others? Maybe it means giving up what you think you deserve. You deserve to have important people think you're important? Because that matters?

My heart has had to be broken on a regular basis. I've had to change how I think and how I see things. I've had to learn kindness and gentleness and self control and these are things I'm continuing to learn.

I've had to learn to be quiet.
I've had to learn to listen.
I've had to learn to say sorry.
I've had to learn what costs I'm willing to pay.

Tonight a smart fellow said that I had to move on and let the dead bury their dead.
This is what Christ said to the man who wanted to bury his father before coming and following Him. The journey was happening with or without him, but the guy gave it up to stay for a task that would only take a couple of hours. And in the grand scheme of things, death and corpses meant little to Jesus, considering He was here to change everything we knew about being alive.

It broke my heart but I understood.
And know that it doesn't even have to mean moving on from people.
It can mean giving up the battle. And I do.
I can't stay and keep digging when there is so much happening.
There is so much more God needs me to focus on right now.
I got to let the dead bury the dead.

So, all that to say...

"For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace." -1 Cor. 14:33

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance."- Philippians 4:11

"If anyone has caused grief... you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him." 2 Cor. 2:5,7,8

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with action and in truth." -1 John 3:18

I have to rejoice in the amazing works He is doing. I have to focus on His faithfulness and my knowledge that everything is under control. I have to, because I could stay and dig but why hang out in a graveyard when so much is alive?

I wanted to have this written down so I could refer back to it when I find myself picking up the shovel again.

"I cry out to God Most High, to GOD, who fulfills His purposes for me."
Psalm 57

(actually the whole thing is phenomenal)


leslie said...

i really really like you.
and your insights.

gschof said...

you save my life even when you don't know it.

no, really.

i have hope that no matter what trivial thing i am whining about in life, God is still so good and that is enough for me.

i love everything about what you choose to be.