Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Blast From The Past

I wrote this blog on Myspace Monday October 8th, 2007. My dear, dear friend Dustin Baker just left a comment on it the other day and it caused me to read it again. It was good for me, so here it is for you:

Sometimes bombs fall quietly

My blog has been viewed 8086 as of this very second.

That makes me wonder whether or not what I write here matters. And it doesnt have to matter in a life change sort of way.

It can be in the laugh-when-you're-bored sort of way.
It can be in the what's-up-with-your-life sort of way.
It can be in the is-she-a-country-singer-yet? sort of way.
The answer to that question is "not yet".

My life is severely imbalanced. I've come to this realization and I've talked it over with several people but Im still trying to figure out how to rectify the situation.

See, when you are in high school you're life is imbalanced when you have to much Physics and Trigonometry homework and not enough sculpting. I'm sad to say that it doesn't always immediately get better. Sometimes its not as easy as just eliminating the trigonometry, which is a good option when ever you can eliminate trigonometry from your daily routine.

Sometimes you wake up and realize that every second of your day is regimented with things you neither care about nor consider important to your life. The things you love are on the wayside, or get the leftovers, which is a sad thing to offer the things of your heart.

Sometimes you wake up and your friends are getting married to the first guy who walks by (who may or may not be the right guy for them, I'm not the judge of that), or they're buying homes and starting careers, which are all good things, might I add. It's just strange that this is my life. It's strange that my birthday is next week and a lot of the people I love the most are no closer than two hours away.

"When I start to get gloomy, I think of the arrival gate at the Heathrow Airport..."

This amazing kid I know named Nathan Willis put together this Love montage with these classic scenese from movies we all know that just really depict the importance of love in our lives. And not just romantic love. I mean, really. There are clips of Lloyd and Harry from Dumb & Dumber, Chunk and Sloth from The Goonies. There are clips from Casablanca and Patton and The Sound of Music and Blood Diamond.

So my decision is to commit as much as my time towards being with the people I love, with the people who invest in me. Because, when you're watching your clock run out, you aren't making phone calls of hate or anger. You're calling the people you love to tell them you're sorry you wont get to keep all the promises you made to them about tomorrow. I want to make as few of those phone calls as possible. When you're a kid (and if you're at home, you're still a kid, including myself), you get one time to be you're parents' child. Im sure you'll grow up and you may even come and live at home again, but it's never the same. Last year was the last year my entire family lived under one roof, and now my brother is in the Navy and Im moving to Nashville and that season of us being a young family is over.

Do rejoice in your youth because you get to be old a long time. A nurse told a girl I know that she'd have a long time to be fat. I understand what she's saying. In relation to your entire life, you'll spend relatively few years with the capability to essentially do whatever you want with little ties to anything. That means from the point where you are capable of going to the point where you settle down and live your life in one spot, take advantage of the time and actually go. Don't live in the same town your entire life. Don't have only the same three friends all your life. Don't eat the same thing every Monday night. Unless you choose to.

Alright, we've discussed family, spending time with friends, that leaves romantic love.

Boys. And girls. If there is one amendment I can make in the "live and love" frame of mind, it's in this area. Because love is SO precious, guard it. Because you are precious and the person that is going to come into your life is amazing. They will be glad when you write songs about them and they will understand a 1000 word essay written about them. They will go out of their way to be Mr. Darcy, and it will be worth it because they will take care of the greatest gift you can give them. Sap, but its appropriate when talking about sincere, gonna-get-married love.

Finally, if you're willing to sleep in cardboard boxes at UCF, and you're willing to wear a shirt in support of some charitable cause, you should also be willing to become invested in the lives of those around you. You should be willing to love those you come in contact with on a daily basis at all costs. Because they aren't in Africa. They're here in your mission field. And you don't know that they don't need you too.

"you're the only one I ever believed in,
the answer that could never be found
the moment you decided to let love in."

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