Sunday, November 9, 2008

"If I stay in one place, I lose my mind. I'm a pretty impossible lady to be with." -Kimya Dawson

Lately I'm worried that I have used up all of my creativity and craftiness in October. Now it is November and I am feeling a complete lack of motivation.

This weekend I have been feeling sickly and moody. I apologize to anyone who has had to be around me. I will also say this is a bad time for me to just be sitting around thinking, analyzing my life. A lot like Kimya Dawson, I am realizing that cabin fever happens somewhat easy for me. I'm just not ready to succumb to adulthood.

So I have been re-reading my blog because last month seems to have been an apex in excitement and creativity. I was reminded that I never completed my own list.

"You should take a break from reading this and make a list real quick. What should you write on this list? Write down things that you love because you genuinely love them. Not because they remind you of someone. Not because they are associated with a happy memory dependent someone else. These are good things to write down so when you lose yourself and you don't remember what it means to be happy, there are things that are constant and good. It's alright if its short because it will grow as you remember."

  • Childhood memories.
  • Oranges.
  • The smell of Thanksgiving.
  • Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with your grandma.
  • The first time I heard "Brightest" by Copeland.
  • House.
  • Wearing headbands when my hair is super straight.
  • The Goonies.
  • Taking pictures of my friends
  • Edwin Warner Park
  • Flowers on my birthday
  • Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
  • Pumpkins
  • Sharp cheddar cheese cut in wedge shapes
  • Red high heels

a1. It's pretty difficult trying to come up with things that have no association with other people. I couldn't say "Sunflowers" because they remind me of Carol Morris. I couldn't say "Lost" because it reminded me of the summer. Actually, I couldn't say "summer" at all.

There are a lot of great things that have great associations because of great people. I am okay with those associations too.

Thank you, Grace, for saving my life tonight.


Allison Drew said...

You forgot that you love me.

MeLissa said...

This is true! I'm okay with loving you all the time.

gschof said...

thank you for saving my life last week and the next following every other thursday, which is most likely when i will lose my hope again!

as a very special person once said to me:

you glow

Molly said...

you're the wind beneath my wings.