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Friday, April 11, 2008

The bomb dot com

Today I googled my name. This is what I found:


-A quote I made for a story Lauren Cappelli wrote about Cornerstone Music Festival. In this quote, I used the words "multitudinous"," environment" and "intermediate". This quote was from two years ago. I'm a thesaurus.


-A news article from North Carolina stating that "Gavarrette Construction was issued two citations..." This is why we were issued citations- Gavarrettes have no business getting involved with construction. That part of my bloodline comes from Honduras. We are Mayans, professional killers, not construction workers. PLUS, how big does that business card have to be if we are going to fit "Gavarrette" AND "construction" on one line? I mean, really.


-a couple of instances of my name being found on your myspaces. Good work team.


When I looked under the Google images section, this is what I found:

Apparently when the universe searches for me, FedEx pops up.




Tomorrow I will be attending my first Home Sweet Homeless potluck. While I do work for a restaurant, my cooking skills are at a minimum. Lucky for you, I can follow a recipe card when it shows me how to make guacamole. I am pretty good with Duncan Hines cakes. I can make Kraft Macaroni and Cheese without reading the instructions on the box. I know, gentlemen, get in line for this catch. I will probably bring something that is packaged in large quantities at Walmart because I'm too lame to just bring something awesome that I made myself.

I've decided that if Kristy Lee Cook can be on round two of her life plan to be famous, I should at least get round one. I'm not going to count "Can You Duet" because that lasted a total of 15 second. After seeing the previews for the show, which premieres this week, I now realize what Erin and I were missing. We probably should've left 3/4 of our body weight at home, dyed our hair platinum blonde and been born twins. A stand up bass could've also helped us. We just brought a silly ol' guitar. But don't you worry America- we've got some lyrics a'cookin' and when our albums debuts (tentatively titled "They Were Sea Lions") you guys are going to have to get to Best Buy two weeks early to camp out to get a copy. I'd probably sign your copy because if you know ot be there two weeks early, its because you heard about the release here on shegotjokes.blogspot.com and I feel like faithfulness should be rewarded.

Topics that will be sung about on our album:
-bars
-boys
-unrequited love
-street fighting
-roadtrips
-friends
-Jesus
-country things
-pick up trucks
-Nashville


"And you asked me what I want this year. And I try to make this kind and clear. Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days."
That isn't one of our lines. That belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls.


To wrap up today, I'm including a video of me and my husband at our wedding. I hope you enjoy.
It's also available online.



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